If you’re anything like me there’s a chance you’ve had a moment in life (or many) where you’ve thought “This is something that would happen in a Rom-Com!” or “Jeez, if this was a Rom-Com [insert generic Rom-Com plot point here] would have happened by now.” Sadly, life is not a scripted movie with guaranteed plot resolutions or quirky plot twists. Not convinced? Here are 10 signs for you to muse over:
1.) It doesn’t start raining every time you cry dramatically.
2.) Tracking music doesn’t follow you around and signal when something is going to happen. (Having a song stuck in your head doesn’t count. No, really.)
3.) The only person to ever chase after you before you get on a plane has been an airport employee and that was only because you dropped something.
4.) Whenever you storm off after a fight with your partner (or potential love interest) you wait the obligatory three seconds on the other side of the door but no one ever chases you to apologise. Ever.
5.) The last time you did a dramatic make over to win the attention of your crush they didn’t notice anything was different.
6.) Your BFF doesn’t really fit the template of comic relief or supporting cast member. They are more of a leading role type persona and like to think you are, in fact, in their movie.
7.) The last time you tried the whole “eating a whole tub of ice cream while in pyjamas and crying” scenario you ended up with an acne breakout and an extra kilo to cart around. That – and getting through the whole tub plus several chocolate bars and shots of Baileys – only made you feel worse about yourself rather than comforted.
8.) The last time you had a “meet cute” with someone in a coffee shop they turned out to be a potential serial killer in the making. It was disturbing enough to put you off coffee shops for a week.
9.) No one magically shows up to save you from an awkward or difficult situation. You actually have to either save yourself or reach out and make a phone call, tweet or post to your nearest and dearest.
10.) You finally manage to meet the man/woman of your dreams and exchange contact details only to discover after some social media
stalking investigating they are married with 2.5 kids, a house with a big backyard and a pet dog named Bob.