Generally people know if they have a natural gravitation towards children and babies. It comes easily or at least the willingness to be around newborns and toddlers is there from an early age rather than you growing into your maternal/paternal instincts. But for those on the fence about kids here are 10 lighthearted signs that babies might not be in your long term plan.
1.) Every time your friend offers you a turn at holding their baby you instinctively respond with a casual but firm “no thanks” and get a little annoyed when they keep trying to push the issue.
2.) You would rather hear nails on a chalkboard than that long high pitched squeal kids deliver without fail.
3.) You value your sleep and your sanity above almost anything else in the whole world. You often walk into a room and forget what you were there for, add a baby to the mix and you are pretty sure you would turn into a zombie with a 5 second attention span from day one.
4.) The idea of spending a small amount of time with a child before handing them back to their parents is more appealing than keeping one.
5.) You secretly don’t think all babies are born cute with some kids taking a while to grow into their looks.
6.) The only mantra running through your head when holding a baby is “please don’t cry, please don’t cry, please don’t cry” which sometimes changes to “please don’t throw up on me” if they’ve just been fed.
7.) You have a bigger fascination with the baby toys than the baby itself. Though this may have more to do with you being a big kid at heart than anything else.
8.) The first time you greet a baby it’s usually at a distance with an awkward “hello” and a wave once it has made eye contact with you. To your credit you are more comfortable greeting and entertaining toddlers as they are a little easier to connect with.
9.) You like your personal space.
10.) The words ‘diapers’, ‘wet ones’ and ‘projectile vomit’ don’t register in your daily vocabulary.